Flights booked. Accommodation booked. FET booked.
Scheduled for Thursday 26th May.
It’ll be nice and equally strange to take Tiger to the city in which he undoubtedly has biological links. Let’s hope it doesn’t play with my mind too much and I can just concentrate on the FET.
I do hope the 2 embryos survive the thaw.
I may need steroids and intripalids as my immune levels are still not at ‘normal’ levels, so treatment plan still a little unclear.
One thing I know for sure and that’s this is the last ever treatment for us.
Will we be a family of 3 or more?…..
Last update:Never….the words staring at me when I logged into WordPress.
I haven’t stopped blogging (pah you say) I just don’t know what to say. I am sure you don’t want to see post after post about Tiger and there’s not else going on around here.
Oh apart from my world seems to be surrounded by bad illnesses at the moment. Mr BTC’s parents have had to be separated for health reasons after over 60 years of marriage. They are now in two different sides of the same care home and their home has now got to be sold.
My brother in law’s malignant brain tumour returned last month. It absolutely floored us all. He had a stage 2 tumour 7 years ago and had successful rounds of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. We knew it was likely to come back, but still it hit us for six. He had it removed two weeks ago. My sister was told by the surgeon to expect the biopsy to show a stage 4 tumour. That would have meant conversations about the short time he had left to live. Well, someone was looking out for us on Tuesday when he was told it has stayed a stage 2 tumour. How you can possibly jump up and down with delight about a brain tumour is mind boggling….but boy did we cheer (and cry).
Then I heard this week that one of my closest blogging buddies has developed skin cancer and there’s a chance it has spread. I’m devastated and all I want to do is hug her. The internet brings us together but means we are far too far apart when things go off track. I am hoping with all my might that she beats this.
Sounds like it’s all doom and gloom but it’s not. Tiger is a dream. I love my time with him and he’s now a real character. I don’t think it’ll be long before he walks and he’ll be one in a few weeks.
Time has just flown.
Hope it won’t be too long till I’m back again. Hope you are all well.
…..well apart from when it is snowing.
See, we don’t do snow very well. At all. The country grinds to a halt. The roads are impossible to drive on, the rail network collapses, the airports close and if you walk outside your house it’s as if the world has ended. Not a soul in sight.
Most other countries look at snow with a casual shrug of the shoulders. Not the British, we make a right royal meal of it. Take the news programmes as an example – the headlines are “snow is EVERYWHERE’ then lets go to the travel….”snow is causing the trains to stop running and the airports close, oh and don’t bother trying to drive”. Lets go to the sport….”snow has postponed all the games”….and finally, the weather section, “it’s snowing everyone!”. It’s embarrassing.
But did it stop me? No sireee. The family BTC filled the car with enough food, water, sleeping bags, walking boots and baby products to be away from home for a month. We drove to London and back (approx 220 miles) for a blood test. I decided to get my immune levels checked again before the FET. I want to do everything the same way again then I know I gave it everything.
I am just hoping that the fed.ex plane makes it to Chicago with my blood on board as I really don’t fancy that trip again any time soon.
….I wrote a post.
It’s been 2 months, wow and sorry about that. Just been so busy with holidays, christening and now preparing for Tiger’s first Christmas. I know that I am friends with a few of you on FBook so you get to see what’s going on. If anyone wants to be friends on FB, send me an email (firstname.lastname@example.org) as I fear my time to blog will be limited, but I will try.
Tiger has just turned 7 months old, scary. And boy is he mobile! He started crawling a couple of weeks ago and he’s EVERYWHERE.
He starts nursery two afternoons a week next month and I keep tearing up at the thought. I know he will be fine and will love it. Me kicking around at home may not love it as much!
We have been setting the wheels in motion for the FET. We are going to go abroad in early 2011 to transfer both embryos. So we will know pretty soon what our family will finally look like. I’m ready to know.
I am beyond excited about Christmas. For the first time I am going to spent it in my own home. By default that means the first Christmas Day with my cat….yeah! It’s just going to be me, Mr BTC and Tiger. It’s the stuff that dreams are made of.
For the last few years I have posted about a specific Christmas song. ‘When a child is born’ by Johnny Mathis. I have cried so many tears, breaking my heart listening to it. This year I had a magical moment, Tiger was asleep in bed and I was wrapping his presents and the song came on the tv. Can you imagine the tears I cried this time? Only happy ones thankfully.
All that remains is to wish you and yours a great Christmas and I hope 2011 is a happy and healthy one.
I’ll leave you with some photos….holiday, christening and Christmas.
Tiger is 5 months old…where the heck did that time go? I am loving being at home with him. We have such a busy social diary, well, he has. We have music classes, baby groups and he’s even started swimming lessons AND been underwater many times. He was even pushed through an underwater hoop last week! I am starting to think about weaning him as his feeding has become more frequent. He has gone back to two get ups in the night and I am flagging. Many of his new friends ‘sleep through’, which quite frankly makes me weep with jealousy but I am sure he’ll settle down at some point (soon…pretty pleeaasee??).
Remember we had two frozen embryos from our Tiger cycle? Those embryos have been like an elephant in the room for me. Not daring to mention them to Mr BTC. But I took the plunge and did so a few weeks ago. I think the thought of 4 children is enough to send Mr BTC over the edge (remember he has 2 grown up daughters already) but I know he would like to try if I want to. And I do want to try with those embryos.
But what if I end up with twins??? Arrgghhhh…..panic panic panic. I need to research the reduced chance of it working if we split them. In fact, I don’t even know if they are frozen together…much research to be done me thinks. But we have decided we will try again with the frosties, sooner rather than later. The reason for trying soonish is that I want to know what our family is going to look like and if Tiger is to have a sibling or two, then great, or if Tiger is all we will ever have, then great. I just want to know what the future family blueprint looks like.
We have booked our first foreign holiday for November. Two weeks in Spain and I cannot wait. Tiger is at the age where he is paying attention to things and is a real joy. The thought of a family holiday just makes me smile from ear to ear.
Think that’s about all for now. Here’s a recent picture of Tiger for you.
An overdue thank you for all your thoughts/experiences and views on my post about the importance of genetic beginnings. It has really helped me put a few things ‘in the right place’. The more I’m prepared for what might be ahead the more I hope I will be able to help Tiger.
It also got me thinking about another kind of importance. The importance we place on the characteristics of the person who donates to us.
In a way I was lucky. I didn’t have the burden of choice that some people face. I didn’t have to trawl through pages of donors looking for someone who might have resembled me in some way. Instead, the clinic chose a donor and gave me basic details and the only thing I had to do was say yeah or neigh.
If I could go back and talk to myself or even if these words help someone at the beginning of the donor journey, I would say this….
It doesn’t matter if the donor doesn’t have your eyes, your hair, your height, your freckles, your dark skin or anything else. All that matters is the donor’s age.
‘Cause when you have your baby in your arms, and they look nothing like you or your hubby (who they are genetically made from) it makes not a jot of difference.
They are an individual in their own right and you will feel like you were destined to be together.
September the 1st will always mean so much to me. A simple white stick can change everything.
A year ago today, I was in a clinic abroad. I was having 2 blastocysts transferred and I was hoping with all my might that this was my time.
We saw the 2 embryos on the plasma screen and a gulp of emotion threatened to escape from my mouth.
The Carpenters ‘Close to you’ came on the radio, I heard it played again that same evening. That song will always remind me of Tiger.
One year on and I couldn’t love him more.
Lots of people say that the origins of Tiger are irrelevant. They say that all someone did was give us a few cells and the rest was down to me and Mr BTC. They also say that Tiger is absolutely 100% ours and it would be just the same if he had come from my eggs.
I hear all of that but wonder if people really mean it?
Case in point, a labour of love that my Dad has been working on.
His friend who is over 60 found out last year that he was adopted. His mum told him as she was dying. His genetic mother gave him up for adoption. She was a young unmarried mum at a time when that was not acceptable.
Dad was determined to help him trace some of his blood relatives so he has spent the last few months combing every inch of the internet looking for clues. He also has scoured graveyards in North Wales and knocked on doors in the West Midlands. He’s covered some miles in his quest.
And one day despite many knock backs he found a blood relative. He got an email reply from a guy on a boat out to sea off the coast of South America. It was his friend’s half brother.
It turns out that the half brother (who didn’t know anyone existed) had been looking too as he had a feeling there might be relatives out there. He had drawn blanks. Luckily for them my Dad was pretty relentless and made the breakthrough.
They met for the first time yesterday, I’m sure it was an emotional meeting.
A lovely story with a happy ending but what it throws up for me is that blood obviously does matter to people.
I wonder how much it will matter to Tiger?
Back in April 2007 we started our first IVF attempt. Little naive me was thrilled that 2 out of my 4 eggs fertilised. I thought that we were bound to succeed.
On transfer day we found out that we had one 4 cell to transfer, which again I was happy with. I think at that point I just wanted to have a chance, even if it didn’t work.
A couple of days after transfer we went away for a break. We went to the little seaside town in Wales where my Mum was brought up. We thought the rest and relaxation would help.
We all know that cycle and the subsequent 5 attempts with my eggs weren’t destined to be.
Tomorrow we pack up our new family estate car and head back again.
This time we’ll have Tiger in the back of the car and the thought of it is overwhelming.
We will also be introducing him to my 91 year old Granny for the first time. Tiger was named after my late Grandpa so it’s going to be a big old emotional day.